There is a space between what kind of person we wish to be and who we really are at a given moment. This rift is sometimes a small, shallow river crossing that just requires a good push off the edge to swim across, but many times it is a massive canyon with jagged rocks and rapids smashing through it.
Trying to stitch together this rift, to navigate the twists and turns is the work of a lifetime.
I have failed so many times.
I tell myself I will get back in shape, I stop training a week or two later.
I tell myself I will read more, and end up spending all my time watching television.
I tell myself I will be a better partner to my beautiful Anny, and let laziness and anger get in the way.
Working towards being a better person is difficult, probably the most difficult task anyone can do. Human beings natural inclination is to whatever is easiest and feels best as soon as possible. Food,porn, alcohol, drugs, these can all be accessed so easily and let someone just revel in the moment and forget about anything that is bothering them.
I have had a myriad of excuses as to why I do not accomplish the goals I set for myself, but in the end the only reason is laziness. Because it was easier to just let everything go then to actually do more, be more.
When I look over my life, I mostly see wasted time. Time that I can never get back. Money, power, fame, material possessions, none of these matter when compared to the fact that I am slowly dying, and the only real currency that matters is the time I have left to experience life.
I believe that it is important not to be too rigid, to not control every aspect of your life because it leaves no room for spontaneity and an inability to adapt to new changes. But it is important to have structure, to confine yourself within certain parameters because that allows you to strive towards better states of being,and in limiting yourself it actually allows you more freedom to do the things you truly want to do. Whereas if you just roam around with absolutely no focus you end up having accomplished nothing in the end.
Easy to say obviously, not so easy to implement in reality.
But in the end, all the tips and tricks people spout everywhere is useless, only one thing matters.
Just get started.
Whatever it is you want to do, just start doing it. Maybe you do it wrong, but that is okay, keep an open mind and learn as much as possible, and soon enough so long as you stuck to it, you will get better and better until you know enough to streamline it, and then start something new!
Keep learning, keep trying, keep moving forward. I know I will, no more lazing around.
Small steps my friends.