Friendship, love and the fear of being alone with yourself.

It is a curious thing, our interactions with the people in our lives. Each of us have family, old friends, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and the people we interact with daily due to our habits, and of course there are numerous categories within each of these of how someone is ranked in our mind.

This is all done subconsciously, and is made all the more twisted by peoples attachment to facebook and instagram and associating friendship with someone they may not have ever even met but who because of a decent amount of likes on their pictures they feel warmth towards.

As I have gotten older, I have felt the need to separate more and more people into the acquaintance category, even if I have known them for many years, simply because I dont really KNOW them, they simply never made that leap from person I speak randomly too into person I deeply want to know is doing well and am interested in their lives.  Many of us spread ourselves too thin, attempting to have a piece of everyone we knows lives, and in the end coming out with nothing at all, simple shallow depth of feeling.

Does a facebook status or an instagram photo really capture someones emotions? does spending your energy on finding out about 300 peoples different weekly adventures really leave you with anything at all except maybe a lack of fulfillment in what you are doing with yourself right at this moment?

I feel that having 1 friend who you give your heart too, who you trust fully and know that you can open up to them truly, is worth more than a thousand “friends”, whether they be from facebook or in person.  But it is so difficult to have such friendships these days, unless you find a similar minded person who believes in the same thing. Everyone wants to please everyone else around them, and feels empty and envious of others who are getting more attention than them.

I think at the end of the day, the biggest problem in regards to friendship, well lets call it love, is that people dont love themselves. People are not self  sustained, their happiness is too reliant upon others. If someone makes you happy, that is fantastic, but if you literally cannot sustain your happiness unless someone else is around you, then that is a problem. And I would argue that someone who is not happy with themselves, cannot truly be happy with others. Nor can they truly love someone else, whether they be family, friends or a lover. A person who cannot love them self, cannot possibly appreciate another human fully, because they are more likely to be dependent on that person, to feel jealousy and anger if that person doesn’t shower them with all their attention, to stay with them more out of habit and fear of loneliness than actual love.

Fear is the primary driver  of many peoples actions, sadly.

Family is more than blood. Friendship, whether it be in the form of a childhood friend, a new friend or a lover, that is what family truly is. The people around you who you trust and love. You need to love them for who they are, not what they give you, not because you’re bored or upset and need comforting or just because you share some genes.

Focus your energy on those who you truly care for, who elevate you, who want to share in your life and have fun and let you be who you truly are.

Everything else is bullshit cowardice.

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